1. Your grandparents think you’re sad
The day my grandma asked me if I had a boyfriend made me realise that her question was just the tip of the iceberg. In my 8 years of being single she’d never asked me if I’d had a boyfriend, ever.
Every long-term single bachelor/bachelorette’s knows that one of the first things any relatives or friends ask (after you haven’t seen them for a while) is: “so, have you met someone special?”
After a few years of being single, you begin to wonder why everyone is hoping you’ll find someone, and quickly. You’re single, independent, confident and well adjusted.
When people stop asking, it’s either because they think you’re a lost cause, or your mum has told everyone you’re going to be a nun.
2. Admit it. You’re a crazy cat lady
You don’t have to be a crazy cat lady. You could be the insane dog man or that funny horse person. You don’t even have to have pets. You’ll still be seen as a crazy cat lady. Everyone knows that single people feed homeless strays or become best friends with the next-door neighbour’s cat.
To aid in your crazy cat lady label, when friends start posting updates of belly bumps and the third time their child smiled that day, you’re still tagging people in super bowl adds with puppies and Clydesdales that make you bawl your eyes out every time you watch them. Thanks for that Budweiser.
After you make a fool of yourself with said tagging, you contemplate creating a Facebook page for your all-time favourite friend, fluffy.
I could write more on this subject, but I need to go take a selfie with my kitten to put on instagram #catsofinstagram
3. You eat leftovers every second day or you feed the homeless
Unfortunately, I’m one of those rare (am I wrong?) people who doesn’t enjoy eating leftovers. I blame numerous food poisoning incidents for my aversion to anything that has been in the fridge for longer than 12 hours. However, this is a problem. If you’re single and live on your own, you will inevitably be faced with the ongoing, daily struggle of making meals for one. The world is just not designed for single people. Leftovers are a given unless you scrounge around the back of your food cupboard for your crispy bacon cup of noodles.
4. Your kitchen floor may not have been mopped for a month
You have no need for a partner. Why? You have your bed to yourself, can eat what you want, watch what you want, clean when you want and you don’t have to worry if you’ve accidentally sent two text messages in a row (dear god why hasn’t he replied to my last message? It’s been 10 minutes already!)
You always have the option of organising last minute magnificent dinner parties where you can make meals for six and finally bring out your hard saved for crystal wine glasses (that you use every other night anyway with your bottle-o-wine). It’s also a golden opportunity to finally clean your house.
5. You may have developed a dating disorder
Social and dating anxiety. It’s a real thing. I discovered it after trying to decipher why I thought a potential love interest was stalking me (now that’s another story).
After much research I discovered that some people are afraid of dating to such an extent that they will avoid relationships to no end. Having always been a rather social person, I didn’t realise straightaway that I was experience a little bit of anxiety whenever someone new came into my life.
I believe my anxiety may be due to the disastrous handful of first dates I’ve experienced. Like the one where I naively choice the spaghetti, got it all over my new outfit and then to top it all off, was forced to split the meal (big sign you failed). Then there was the first date I went on that involved a 5km uphill hike in 30 degree heat in the midday sun (86 ºF). I have an aversion to heat in the first place, so this was probably my least favourite date of all time.
6. You give the best advice
This is a truth universally acknowledged by psychologists, psychiatrist and just about everyone else smart enough, that single people give the best advice. I have often been told I give great advice despite having no real experience of being in a relationship.
Sometimes people assume being single forever means you have no idea what it’s like to be in love or have never experienced romance. This isn’t true. Everyone can experience unrequited romantic love and the unreasonable obsession for that guy that lives around the corner. Haven’t you seen The Holiday?
It can be both therapeutic and insanely annoying trying to convince your shacked up friend that their boyfriend is neither good for them, nor remarkably good looking. No amount of self-help books or blogs you direct them to can help them see the light. As they say, love is blind.
7. Parties. They can be scary
There’s nothing worse then arriving at an engagement party on your own. That vast function room filled with milling people can be daunting even for the most outgoing social butterflies, add your low self esteem from lack of partnership and the ‘entrance’ can be the worst part of the evening. (Note to self – don’t arrive late.)
My best recommendation is to eye off the bar and hurridly get yourself a drink as you awkwardly scan the room for someone you might know even remotely. You’ll have all the time in the world to reacquaint yourself with your host and their beaming fiancé.
8. Your recent call list is fairly predictable
You have a lot of close friends, but sometimes you can go a whole day without receiving a single text message. Oh wait, yes your mum did message you earlier. And seriously, go check out your recent calls list.
I’m guessing it goes something like this:
Mum
Dad
Mum (2)
Sibling
Dad
Mum (3)
Sibling
Mum
9. You know all about regret
The two or three year mark of singleness usually results in epic fantasies of ‘what might have been.’ This is something you haven’t experienced since those few months after breaking up. The feeling never goes away.
You also begin to realise that the second-rate blind date you refused to go on three years ago at McDonalds is starting to look mighty tempting by this stage, and unlike your friends who are in new or long-lasting relationships, you have nothing to distract you from ‘Adam, or Matthew or Hugo’.
Unfortunately, the ones who got away will stick with you long after they’ve paired up and produced a whole tribe of babies. I’m not joking. All you have to do is take one look at your Facebook feed.
10. You wear the unattractive badge of assumed loneliness
There are so many articles, blogs and self-help eBooks out there that instruct on the ‘awful’ truths of being single and how to overcome them. They almost reflect an unbridled glee as they elaborate on the soul-destroying loneliness every single person must face. While this can sometimes be true, many single people are wonderfully happy. Just like you can get unhappy or happy people who are in relationships, the same is for single people. We are alone, but not necessarily ‘lonely’.
Most long-term singles know that just like Pandora’s Box, hope remains not matter how long you’ve been single.
P.s If you’re looking for 10 signs you’ve been single too long from a guy’s perspective, you need to go here: http://au.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-more-signs-youve-been-single-too-long_10.html
The day my grandma asked me if I had a boyfriend made me realise that her question was just the tip of the iceberg. In my 8 years of being single she’d never asked me if I’d had a boyfriend, ever.
Every long-term single bachelor/bachelorette’s knows that one of the first things any relatives or friends ask (after you haven’t seen them for a while) is: “so, have you met someone special?”
After a few years of being single, you begin to wonder why everyone is hoping you’ll find someone, and quickly. You’re single, independent, confident and well adjusted.
When people stop asking, it’s either because they think you’re a lost cause, or your mum has told everyone you’re going to be a nun.
2. Admit it. You’re a crazy cat lady
You don’t have to be a crazy cat lady. You could be the insane dog man or that funny horse person. You don’t even have to have pets. You’ll still be seen as a crazy cat lady. Everyone knows that single people feed homeless strays or become best friends with the next-door neighbour’s cat.
To aid in your crazy cat lady label, when friends start posting updates of belly bumps and the third time their child smiled that day, you’re still tagging people in super bowl adds with puppies and Clydesdales that make you bawl your eyes out every time you watch them. Thanks for that Budweiser.
After you make a fool of yourself with said tagging, you contemplate creating a Facebook page for your all-time favourite friend, fluffy.
I could write more on this subject, but I need to go take a selfie with my kitten to put on instagram #catsofinstagram
3. You eat leftovers every second day or you feed the homeless
Unfortunately, I’m one of those rare (am I wrong?) people who doesn’t enjoy eating leftovers. I blame numerous food poisoning incidents for my aversion to anything that has been in the fridge for longer than 12 hours. However, this is a problem. If you’re single and live on your own, you will inevitably be faced with the ongoing, daily struggle of making meals for one. The world is just not designed for single people. Leftovers are a given unless you scrounge around the back of your food cupboard for your crispy bacon cup of noodles.
4. Your kitchen floor may not have been mopped for a month
You have no need for a partner. Why? You have your bed to yourself, can eat what you want, watch what you want, clean when you want and you don’t have to worry if you’ve accidentally sent two text messages in a row (dear god why hasn’t he replied to my last message? It’s been 10 minutes already!)
You always have the option of organising last minute magnificent dinner parties where you can make meals for six and finally bring out your hard saved for crystal wine glasses (that you use every other night anyway with your bottle-o-wine). It’s also a golden opportunity to finally clean your house.
5. You may have developed a dating disorder
Social and dating anxiety. It’s a real thing. I discovered it after trying to decipher why I thought a potential love interest was stalking me (now that’s another story).
After much research I discovered that some people are afraid of dating to such an extent that they will avoid relationships to no end. Having always been a rather social person, I didn’t realise straightaway that I was experience a little bit of anxiety whenever someone new came into my life.
I believe my anxiety may be due to the disastrous handful of first dates I’ve experienced. Like the one where I naively choice the spaghetti, got it all over my new outfit and then to top it all off, was forced to split the meal (big sign you failed). Then there was the first date I went on that involved a 5km uphill hike in 30 degree heat in the midday sun (86 ºF). I have an aversion to heat in the first place, so this was probably my least favourite date of all time.
6. You give the best advice
This is a truth universally acknowledged by psychologists, psychiatrist and just about everyone else smart enough, that single people give the best advice. I have often been told I give great advice despite having no real experience of being in a relationship.
Sometimes people assume being single forever means you have no idea what it’s like to be in love or have never experienced romance. This isn’t true. Everyone can experience unrequited romantic love and the unreasonable obsession for that guy that lives around the corner. Haven’t you seen The Holiday?
It can be both therapeutic and insanely annoying trying to convince your shacked up friend that their boyfriend is neither good for them, nor remarkably good looking. No amount of self-help books or blogs you direct them to can help them see the light. As they say, love is blind.
7. Parties. They can be scary
There’s nothing worse then arriving at an engagement party on your own. That vast function room filled with milling people can be daunting even for the most outgoing social butterflies, add your low self esteem from lack of partnership and the ‘entrance’ can be the worst part of the evening. (Note to self – don’t arrive late.)
My best recommendation is to eye off the bar and hurridly get yourself a drink as you awkwardly scan the room for someone you might know even remotely. You’ll have all the time in the world to reacquaint yourself with your host and their beaming fiancé.
8. Your recent call list is fairly predictable
You have a lot of close friends, but sometimes you can go a whole day without receiving a single text message. Oh wait, yes your mum did message you earlier. And seriously, go check out your recent calls list.
I’m guessing it goes something like this:
Mum
Dad
Mum (2)
Sibling
Dad
Mum (3)
Sibling
Mum
9. You know all about regret
The two or three year mark of singleness usually results in epic fantasies of ‘what might have been.’ This is something you haven’t experienced since those few months after breaking up. The feeling never goes away.
You also begin to realise that the second-rate blind date you refused to go on three years ago at McDonalds is starting to look mighty tempting by this stage, and unlike your friends who are in new or long-lasting relationships, you have nothing to distract you from ‘Adam, or Matthew or Hugo’.
Unfortunately, the ones who got away will stick with you long after they’ve paired up and produced a whole tribe of babies. I’m not joking. All you have to do is take one look at your Facebook feed.
10. You wear the unattractive badge of assumed loneliness
There are so many articles, blogs and self-help eBooks out there that instruct on the ‘awful’ truths of being single and how to overcome them. They almost reflect an unbridled glee as they elaborate on the soul-destroying loneliness every single person must face. While this can sometimes be true, many single people are wonderfully happy. Just like you can get unhappy or happy people who are in relationships, the same is for single people. We are alone, but not necessarily ‘lonely’.
Most long-term singles know that just like Pandora’s Box, hope remains not matter how long you’ve been single.
P.s If you’re looking for 10 signs you’ve been single too long from a guy’s perspective, you need to go here: http://au.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-more-signs-youve-been-single-too-long_10.html