Let me first start by saying that I am not Carrie Bradshaw. While I am an ‘ultimate’ single gal, I do not have a Mr Big hiding in the wings (I can dream!)
Sex and the City has and always will be my all-time favourite TV show (besides an unmentionable and geeky TV show you will never hear about). The movie that came out in 2008 is also pretty far up there in my top 10 movies (top 100 when Christmas comes around). I even had the song Labels or Love as my ring tone back in the day.
I believe the reason why Sex and the City still continues to resonate so well with the women and men of today, is in my opinion due to the fact that the pool of single ladies and men is climbing steadily every day (and you may actually be one).
It may also be due to the fact that we all share a curious commonality. I am talking about that single friend everyone has who sits awkwardly in the corner at all the dinner parties, drinks tons of booze and then embarrassingly reminds you of all the times that you were single too. At least this is how I imagine a single person would appear; because to be honest, I have no clue what it’s like to be on the other side of the fence. I haven’t even sat on it for longer than a few months.
I could interview some of my best friends and give you their opinion on the single population, but that’s not what this is about. This rant is to highlight the plight of the many millions of single kids out there (billions?) who will be in a lonely relationship status at Christmas, but who would like everyone to know that it's OK to be in an obscure relationship status in the season to be jolly. We'll be OK.
Being alone isn't the end of the world. In fact, we might actually have more fun and be less emotionally unstable then the rest of the populous. Which is why I will readily put up my hand and admit that I was that unlucky girl at college who completely missed out on the college boyfriend boat.
No really
That ship literally sailed right by me without even having the decency to slow down while I was frantically swimming towards it. All my little college friendlies were waiting patiently (and wide-eyed and bushy tailed) at the wharf for that boat, while I was still trying to figure out how to work my opal card at the blasted swipe reader.
I was completely unaware (mostly) of the long-lasting pairing going on right under my nose. But I'm pretty glad I missed it. I think.
I had three best friends at college and the four of us were the splitting image of our other best friend, Sex and the City. I'm not joking. We were exactly like Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda.
I had the sexy, blonde, outspoken and busty Samantha-like friend who was eternally tanned and stunning (and enjoyed the finer things in life), a Charlotte-like friend who was beautiful, brown haired, usually correct in all things and unendingly sweet (and cried at the drop of the hat – but it was endearing), then there was my Miranda friend, who was skinny, tall and pale, and who studied law while we all partied and is (I think) now a lawyer.
Then there was me, the friend with the spiral perm, who was sometimes a little bit odd, a little bit quirky, with the funny nose and writing aspirations.
I was the Carrie-like friend who would get drunk, offend people and then show everyone my super-fast typing skills while producing hilariously bad stories. I also repelled mobile phones (and still do much to the disgust of my sisters and now ex-friends).
Now getting to the juicy part of this story, all four of us had an interesting first week at college meeting potential mates – with very different results.
My Samantha friend found a boyfriend in the first week, but they only lasted two years. From what I can recall she hasn't been in a permanent relationship (as long as that one) since, but she’s had many dating adventures that have kept me endlessly entertained during my single years. That old saying 'live vicariously' applies to our relationship.
My striking Charlotte friend also found a boyfriend in our first week. They are now getting married and I’ll be there at the wedding. He is as utterly devoted as any boyfriend I've seen and I'm looking forward to seeing their future babies.
Now a surprise
My Miranda friend didn't find a boy in that first week despite her tallness and general all-roundness. A few years back I caught up with her and she told me about her new ‘girlfriend’. It was the first time a close personal friend had told me they were gay without me hearing a single whiff of news beforehand from the college-vine, and neither did I have any prior assumptions. I had a genuine reaction to her news, and I was happy with my response considering I've never thought to prepare for such a revelation. I wasn't bothered by her news, just completely taken by surprise. I kept saying ‘you’re joking right? Are you being serious?’ While secretly thinking: What about that one boy I had a crush on that you ended up with? But she wasn't joking.
I wish I could have said something along the lines of ‘that’s wonderful! Congrats on finding someone gorgeous!’ But sadly, it took me a while to realise that she was talking about a girl, not a boy, and that she was being serious. Hence my stunned-mullet face and hurried gabble to retract and say the appropriate words. You should have been there.
Then there’s me
I'm not as confident with boys like Carrie was (or perhaps she grew that confidence over time), though like my Samantha and Charlotte friends, I met a boy in the first week of college too. But I was too chicken to tell him that I was (ahem a... ah… virgin) and so we lasted two months. There we have it. My first ‘sort-of’ relationship lasted a measly two months and I've never had a boyfriend since.
You may have already guessed it, but yes I will be single for Christmas (again) and no doubt I will be single for New Year’s and Valentine’s Day too.
I want to extend a hand out to the other ultimate single gals out there, whether by choice or forced
Even if you’re technically no longer single and now sit in the much coveted ‘complicated’ or ‘unsure’ boxes, I still understand your pain. I have been there many times, though I have always quickly switched back to my lovely, miss-understood single status.
I truly am happy at the thought of being single over Christmas. No pesky in-laws to entertain or meet for the first time, no awkwardly new family situations, no embarrassing family dinners as my mother enlightens my boyfriend of my many humiliating episodes growing up (and yes I have many – plus a few recent ones) and no ‘what-to-buy-for-my-hard-to-buy-boyfriend’ moments.
I will remain blissfully unaware of what I'm missing out on as I sip my not-very-expensive-wine while I re watch season four of Sex and the City and decorate my pretty fir-fake Christmas tree with golden incandescent fairy lights and white and hessian coloured Christmas decorations. Then I'll move onto the mulled red wine while a decorate the rest of my kid-free house.
All that aside, perhaps the real reason I'm going to be happy being single over Christmas is simply because I've never had a boyfriend over Christmas. (Or maybe it’s because I've had eight years to come to terms with the idea.)
For me, Christmas has always involved sitting around the Christmas tree with your parents, siblings by your side as you madly pry-open and then kindly compliment the soap and body wash presents from your aunts and uncles.
Sex and the City has and always will be my all-time favourite TV show (besides an unmentionable and geeky TV show you will never hear about). The movie that came out in 2008 is also pretty far up there in my top 10 movies (top 100 when Christmas comes around). I even had the song Labels or Love as my ring tone back in the day.
I believe the reason why Sex and the City still continues to resonate so well with the women and men of today, is in my opinion due to the fact that the pool of single ladies and men is climbing steadily every day (and you may actually be one).
It may also be due to the fact that we all share a curious commonality. I am talking about that single friend everyone has who sits awkwardly in the corner at all the dinner parties, drinks tons of booze and then embarrassingly reminds you of all the times that you were single too. At least this is how I imagine a single person would appear; because to be honest, I have no clue what it’s like to be on the other side of the fence. I haven’t even sat on it for longer than a few months.
I could interview some of my best friends and give you their opinion on the single population, but that’s not what this is about. This rant is to highlight the plight of the many millions of single kids out there (billions?) who will be in a lonely relationship status at Christmas, but who would like everyone to know that it's OK to be in an obscure relationship status in the season to be jolly. We'll be OK.
Being alone isn't the end of the world. In fact, we might actually have more fun and be less emotionally unstable then the rest of the populous. Which is why I will readily put up my hand and admit that I was that unlucky girl at college who completely missed out on the college boyfriend boat.
No really
That ship literally sailed right by me without even having the decency to slow down while I was frantically swimming towards it. All my little college friendlies were waiting patiently (and wide-eyed and bushy tailed) at the wharf for that boat, while I was still trying to figure out how to work my opal card at the blasted swipe reader.
I was completely unaware (mostly) of the long-lasting pairing going on right under my nose. But I'm pretty glad I missed it. I think.
I had three best friends at college and the four of us were the splitting image of our other best friend, Sex and the City. I'm not joking. We were exactly like Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda.
I had the sexy, blonde, outspoken and busty Samantha-like friend who was eternally tanned and stunning (and enjoyed the finer things in life), a Charlotte-like friend who was beautiful, brown haired, usually correct in all things and unendingly sweet (and cried at the drop of the hat – but it was endearing), then there was my Miranda friend, who was skinny, tall and pale, and who studied law while we all partied and is (I think) now a lawyer.
Then there was me, the friend with the spiral perm, who was sometimes a little bit odd, a little bit quirky, with the funny nose and writing aspirations.
I was the Carrie-like friend who would get drunk, offend people and then show everyone my super-fast typing skills while producing hilariously bad stories. I also repelled mobile phones (and still do much to the disgust of my sisters and now ex-friends).
Now getting to the juicy part of this story, all four of us had an interesting first week at college meeting potential mates – with very different results.
My Samantha friend found a boyfriend in the first week, but they only lasted two years. From what I can recall she hasn't been in a permanent relationship (as long as that one) since, but she’s had many dating adventures that have kept me endlessly entertained during my single years. That old saying 'live vicariously' applies to our relationship.
My striking Charlotte friend also found a boyfriend in our first week. They are now getting married and I’ll be there at the wedding. He is as utterly devoted as any boyfriend I've seen and I'm looking forward to seeing their future babies.
Now a surprise
My Miranda friend didn't find a boy in that first week despite her tallness and general all-roundness. A few years back I caught up with her and she told me about her new ‘girlfriend’. It was the first time a close personal friend had told me they were gay without me hearing a single whiff of news beforehand from the college-vine, and neither did I have any prior assumptions. I had a genuine reaction to her news, and I was happy with my response considering I've never thought to prepare for such a revelation. I wasn't bothered by her news, just completely taken by surprise. I kept saying ‘you’re joking right? Are you being serious?’ While secretly thinking: What about that one boy I had a crush on that you ended up with? But she wasn't joking.
I wish I could have said something along the lines of ‘that’s wonderful! Congrats on finding someone gorgeous!’ But sadly, it took me a while to realise that she was talking about a girl, not a boy, and that she was being serious. Hence my stunned-mullet face and hurried gabble to retract and say the appropriate words. You should have been there.
Then there’s me
I'm not as confident with boys like Carrie was (or perhaps she grew that confidence over time), though like my Samantha and Charlotte friends, I met a boy in the first week of college too. But I was too chicken to tell him that I was (ahem a... ah… virgin) and so we lasted two months. There we have it. My first ‘sort-of’ relationship lasted a measly two months and I've never had a boyfriend since.
You may have already guessed it, but yes I will be single for Christmas (again) and no doubt I will be single for New Year’s and Valentine’s Day too.
I want to extend a hand out to the other ultimate single gals out there, whether by choice or forced
Even if you’re technically no longer single and now sit in the much coveted ‘complicated’ or ‘unsure’ boxes, I still understand your pain. I have been there many times, though I have always quickly switched back to my lovely, miss-understood single status.
I truly am happy at the thought of being single over Christmas. No pesky in-laws to entertain or meet for the first time, no awkwardly new family situations, no embarrassing family dinners as my mother enlightens my boyfriend of my many humiliating episodes growing up (and yes I have many – plus a few recent ones) and no ‘what-to-buy-for-my-hard-to-buy-boyfriend’ moments.
I will remain blissfully unaware of what I'm missing out on as I sip my not-very-expensive-wine while I re watch season four of Sex and the City and decorate my pretty fir-fake Christmas tree with golden incandescent fairy lights and white and hessian coloured Christmas decorations. Then I'll move onto the mulled red wine while a decorate the rest of my kid-free house.
All that aside, perhaps the real reason I'm going to be happy being single over Christmas is simply because I've never had a boyfriend over Christmas. (Or maybe it’s because I've had eight years to come to terms with the idea.)
For me, Christmas has always involved sitting around the Christmas tree with your parents, siblings by your side as you madly pry-open and then kindly compliment the soap and body wash presents from your aunts and uncles.
In retrospect I see that I must appear archetypically sad to all those out there that are either married, engaged or in long-lasting, happy relationships. Of course I envy you; of course I imagine meeting the one, getting engaged and having babies, or adopting by the time I’m 35. But I also feel the dire need to reinforce to everything and everyone that I am and always will be happy being alone (except when watching Sense and Sensibility and Wall-e).
It's exhausting, and I wish I didn't have to say it. But I'm happy!
Oh... and I'm profoundly glad that I'm not the only one. However, if due to some disturbed dystopian miracle everyone in the world (including those 200 million men in china) all find a match in the next 31 days, I still have my two sisters to hang out with who will also be single this year, 31 days or not. For this I am pleased.
To all you single guys and gals out there, mazel tov!
(P.s I am not sure if this means congratulations or good luck. Either one works.)
Update: My younger sister has found a lovely man with no less than 4 weeks till Christmas. I will keep you posted!